(from Variations on Emotional Suicide)
I lay still
as a newborn child
curled in fetal position~
but my mind races.
tormented by the thought
of what I can’t control.
wondering if we still beat as one.
i long to hear the sound of your voice
telling me how much you love me
need to be near me…
how you want to be held and
nurtured like a raw diamond.
it never comes from your lips~
leading me to think of the day you’ll say~
so i put on my mask and pretend
to be truly happy
when, what i really need is honesty…
but each time i reach for you
you’re not ready
when can i tell my heart that it’s not a casualty?
when can i say that it’s good for something
other than crying for you?
should i wipe away the dreams of yesteryear
to make my emotions wait on a verdict?
you seem so content…
or do you question my love also?
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